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The Plus Factor, by Tamika L. Sims
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Define a healthy relationship. Is it filled with trust, respect, honesty, communication? There must be a balance in the "power and control." A relationship takes two. It is a partnership. The responsibility, financial or otherwise, should never rest on the shoulders of one. It should be a shared responsibility. What happens when there is an imbalance in this power and control, when the one person who has accepted this responsibility abuses it? You find yourself in an unhealthy relationship where domestic violence could occur frequently and severely. The Plus Factor is an autobiographical account of my journey from tragedy to triumph. It is a survivor's story that describes in vivid detail what happens when love becomes violent. Domestic violence did not ruin my life: it gave me a second chance to live, all the while learning to love myself again in the process. If my story mirrors your life, know that there is help available for you.
- Sales Rank: #779567 in Books
- Brand: Brand: AuthorHouse Publishing
- Published on: 2011-09-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .35" w x 6.00" l, .47 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 140 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
About the Author
Tamika Sims, a South Carolina native, survived a physically, sexually and emotionally abusive relationship of eight years. She is the proud mom of one son, who provides continual strength for her daily. Tamika is a member of Rhema Christian Center Church of God in Christ where she serves in whatever capacity needed. Tamika is currently employed at Sistercare, Inc. as the Volunteer and Community Outreach Coordinator. Tamika has been featured in Skirt! Magazine and has participated in several television interviews on home visitation and other subject matter. Tamika received the Bachelor's of Science Degree in Information Technology from South University with a concentration in Database Administration. It is her desire to pursue the Masters Degree in Business Administration. Tamika enjoys writing, reading, music, singing, and is a self-proclaimed coffee lover! Family and friends are most important to her and she devotes a substantial amount of her time to developing sustaining relationships with them.
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Courage, Strength, and Determination
By Faith ABeliever
What a testimony of Courage, Strength, and Determination. Author Tamika Sims, walks us thru recognizing tell-tale signs that mask an unhealthy relationship after she is gripped by the spirit of fear in an abusive relationship.
Each page of The Plus Factor, sheds light and a greater understanding of how victims of domestic violence often feel powerless, with no way of escape. The Plus Factor exposes the enemies' tactics of knowing that Love is not suppose to assault you.
If you or someone you know are in an abusive relationship read The Plus Factor it gives a voice to those who are victimized in discovering that there is help all the while confessing the word of we are over-comers by the blood of the Lamb and the power of our testimony.
Author Tamika Sims is very transparent in her accounts in allowing us the reader to see the in-depth thought process of her relationship "The Plus Factor" tells her journey from bondage to deliverance and now a life of freedom.
Author Tamika Sims testimony is one that needs to be told and heard across the nation. What a great woman of God.....and I thank God for her Courage to step out on Faith and penned The Plus Factor.
We have not been given the spirit of fear but of Love, Power and a Sound mind.~Missionary La' Tanyha, of Faith ABeliver's Virtual Book Club
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A Voice for those Who Couldn't/Can't Speak! Beautiful Read!
By Stacey S
I had the opportunity to read this book and it is a truly beautiful testament of God's restoring power and a woman willing to, I'm sure, painfully uncover the shame and fear that happens inside of domestic abuse. Tamika L. Sims takes us on a subtly frightening journey and shows how easy it can be to caught up in an abusive relationship. She touches every aspect of abusive relationships - the abuser, the abused, and she does a spectacular job of highlighting the struggle of the family and friends who also sometimes share in the grieving process when the violence is uncovered. I simply had no idea how pervasive, subtle, and terrifying it could be to be in a domestic abuse situation. I would recommend this book to to everyone. It is the story of not just Tamika, but gives a voice to many women who have never shared their stories.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Deeply moved
By Anna Sharapova
I was deeply moved by The Plus Factor. Tamika L. Sims confronts the issue of domestic abuse, meticulously examining her own journey as a victim and survivor. In some ways, this book is intensely introspective, but the book is a teaching point, as if a woman is standing in the darkness holding aloft the lantern of experience. The book is so brutally honest that I am reminded of Mortality by Christopher Hitchens. In Mortality, Hitchens provides a frank, courageous, and detailed account of dying. The Plus Factor is no less honest than the final book by America’s greatest polemicist, and it is structured in a technical way, illuminating every subtle nuance in the stages of degeneration. In this way it goes beyond a personal account into a scientific description of the psychology of abuse.
Sims notes that women can be seduced by eternal appearances, even by the stature of a man. One thing that struck me was her description of the man’s negativity toward past female relationships. This recalls the old story of a man who moves to a new village and asks what the people there are like.
“What were they like where you came from?” the villager asks.
“Really nice.”
“You’re in luck,” the villager responds, clapping him on the back. “That’s what they’re like here.”
Another man moves to the same village and asks the same question.
The same villager queries, “What were they like where you came from?”
"Horrible,” the new man says.
“Shame,” said the villager. “That’s what they’re like here, too.”
I suppose this is a lesson. If a man speaks negatively about all his past female relationships, he may speak the same about you when you are in his rear view mirror. The common issue of women believing they can “change” a man is raised. At this point Sims is brilliant with this quip: “When I realized I could not change him, I changed me. Have you ever been so connected to someone, so intertwined with another individual, that when you try to untangle yourself, you realize that you are gone?” How penetrating and amazing is that insight? Spectacular! It is worthy of being repeated on Oprah.
Sims details the prison-like control of domestic abuse, which is oftentimes incorporated into a kind of self-censorship. It’s loathsome and dehumanizing, sad and pathetic. There is an unfounded hope, a submission of sorts, in which the woman so desperately wants to be happy that she gives herself away one piece at a time.
The book also asks penetrating questions about the role of churches, seeking a transformation from tacit approval to concerted action.
Chapter Three – The Yellow Light – was a very creative metaphor. It moved into the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde section and I found this very disturbing, as I have never witnessed any kind of domestic abuse. I read it with one eye closed and I cringed. That’s all right, though, because cringing is a prerequisite to being human.
The book elevates to the metaphysical realm at points and is continually, even when not obvious, instructed by Biblical theology.
In the end there is a life lesson, hard earned, and the scars are both physical and emotional, perhaps there are even scars on her soul as well. The German philosopher, Nietzsche, said that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. This is not true. A body decimated by cancer, or a mind stricken with a malady, does not increase in strength, it makes the individual weaker. So it is for the victim of domestic abuse. No one would choose to go through the crucible of abuse to achieve greater strength. What one can hope for, and sometimes achieve, is a greater wisdom in life and a hope for a better day. This author shines the lantern brightly for those trying to find freedom, and for those who are as yet unblemished. Hopefully, they will heed the call. It was made with a clear, informed, and powerful voice.
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